COURSE MATERIALS - Stories and Reflections from Past Participants

SL - Miraculous Changes

I have seen the most miraculous changes in my life since beginning this course. I cannot thank you enough. It is as if there is now a light on my path where before all I had was feeling around in the darkness. I understand how to be happy and that it is my choice. What an amazing feeling! Thank you, thank you, thank you again. Although there's been nothing spectacular about these past three months, they've been the happiest of my entire life.

JK - Remodeling Project as a source of Joy

Yesterday Dave and I took out delayed Christmas hike at Pt. Reyes, right between the storms, so we are happy today to be doing around-the-house things.  I scraped the paint off the windows of the little French doors that separate the new kitchen-breakfast room from the rest of the house.  As I was doing that, I was reflecting on how well this remodel project had turned out and wondering why that had been true, when I had had such dire expectations about it.  I realized that I had lent myself to it wholeheartedly, being willing to give up what I wanted to do in the interest of moving the project forward and being continually interested in what was happening and not needing to have fixed ideas about how things should be. 

Because I kept renewing this intention to be with the process and kept letting go of my own desires and expectations, I found it a joyful experience from beginning to end.  I came to really care about the people who were working with us and to look forward to seeing them each day, and to trust their judgment and taste. The whole project became a source of joy for me; what every day brought was where I looked for and was always able to find my satisfaction even if it meant another trip to look at drawer pulls or have another discussion about the spacing between the shelves of the built-in bookcase. 

Quite early on, I realized that the amount of energy, interest and care and all of us) put into the process would determine how the project came out and how much satisfaction there would be, again for me, and all of us.  If I could feel satisfaction everyday, then that same satisfaction would be there in the completed kitchen.  And indeed, this is true, when I look in at the space, when I get a glass of water or when I cook a meal, I feel so happy.  The whole house feels happier to me and more precious.

I learned that joy is there to be experienced in every moment.  Even in difficult and challenging moments, there is a deep vein of joy underneath that can be mined.  This joy is found whenever I can be present with exactly what is.  Perhaps what I am tapping into is the power of mindfulness but I have never experienced it as joy before and now I do.   I have learned to notice the deep joy I experience in simply being alive or knowing I'm alive.

WH - Chronic Pain and Depression; Inclining mind making a difference

Setting the intention to be more alive and to experience joy has been incredibly powerful. I find that I am less afraid of my constant physical pain. My friends are noticing also that I am having fewer episodes of extreme despair. My long-time on-again-off-again boyfriend proposed at the end of July. I was very surprised as I thought he still had doubts about the future of our relationship. Later he explained that he had seen so much progress in the stability of my moods and my ability to live life that he no longer doubted my commitment to "getting better". I feel deeply grateful.

SB - Transforming Generosity Experiment

I wanted to share an experience I had that so incredibly touched me.  At times I have felt selfish and contracted. I was getting a massage on Friday with a woman I have seen for years.  She is a single mom from Columbia.  She just got back from a visit home to see her mother who is dying of cancer.  She told me she would probably go back in December.  I asked if it was expensive and she said about $600 but she felt she wanted to do it even if she had to put it on a credit card.  I asked what airline she took and she said American. I have many frequent flyer miles that I am not going to use in the near future and decided I wanted to use them to buy her a ticket.  When I told her I wanted to do this she started to cry with gratitude.  While I was thinking about doing it I got so excited about it. I am still excited.  It has filled me with so much joy. 

Before the group I sometimes felt that I was stingy and not very giving.  This group has helped my heart open in a way that I hadn't expected.  I have felt this joy in giving on retreat, but not so often at home in my busy life as a mother, wife, grandmother, and therapist.

I’ve been giving people a lot more praise.  I’ve been really validating my staff and appreciating them more, and trying to be less uptight about staff productivity.  I’m starting an email joy buddy relationship.  I’m starting to talk more with my friends about what I or they are grateful for.  I’m acknowledging my own progress a bit more.  I’m more curious about what people who are happy do. 

I’m really distinguishing a new concept for myself; that sinking into a feeling of sadness is often a choice.  The somewhat “male” concept of ACTION over feeling/acceptance is getting some recognition from me.  I’m beginning to wonder whether it’s always that constructive to share with my friends why I’m sad, rather than why I’m happy, because it’s reinforcing the negative.  I experienced a sense of joy being like a light that can be turned on through one or more of your “tools”.   There’s more choices there than I realized. 

Another thing I realized is how my underlying hopelessness (“a cynic is an idealist who’s been hurt”) reinforces my slow pace to change toward being a more joyful person.  I don’t want to take chances as easily, and I don’t reinforce the steps I do take, because it’s awfully hard to believe that it’s safe to try new things out there.  Much of this realization is through therapy but the course supported that experience.

AR - Awareness of the Ordinary

For me, awareness of the possibility of joy in the ordinary events of life was a big discovery. I once considered my life to be relatively bland and uneventful (it was even hard for me to remember what had happened during the day, since it was almost by definition “unimportant”), but I now think this is more a matter of perception than fact. Seeing the wonder in what is rather than looking for something wonderful and disregarding the rest is a significant development that I think was already under way, but the class has helped push its realization.

SO - Being curious and listening when defensive feelings arise

In the beginning, of the group, I inclined my mind to joy, opened my heart and all kinds of feelings and experiences scurried in. I went through a time of being blamed for a variety of things and I responded defensively, blaming the blamers.Rather than indulging in my usual habit of doubling the trouble by feeling righteous and also feeling that I must have done something to deserve these situations, I tried simply acknowledging and accepting the defensiveness and investigating it. Old friend, old survival mechanism created by a child of three! It was protecting me by building walls around my heart.

Somehow just this awareness helped me to loosen the self’s grip and let my heart be more available. Is it that ego defends itself but ‘the awareness’ doesn’t even have that mechanism? Lives in an unfettered heart? The thought then came that blaming the blamers kept the conflict alive and if I turned to them as I had to myself, with curiosity, we might get somewhere. So I invited them to tell their side of things and most of the situations resolved (I feel compassion in the ones that didn’t, for myself and for the others). Now I try to remind myself to be curious and listen when those defensive feelings arise, both with myself and with the ‘other’. And compassion visits.

TC - Accepting and learning from mom’s advanced dementia

I missed one of the classes so that I could go and visit my mother in Florida.  She is 83 but has advanced dementia.  She lives in a small residential care home with six other "ladies" - a pleasant environment where they are well cared for and comfortable.  My Mom needed gall bladder surgery - she had an ongoing condition for many years.  Even though I knew that it probably wouldn't be life threatening I decided to go and spend some time with here and visit with my sister and her family - it have been about 18 months since I had been there and I was feeling like it was too long - since I can't really communicate with my Mom on the phone - she doesn't really hear well and doesn't always "connect" with who is calling - I needed some face to face time.

I arrived on the day that my Mom was released from the hospital.  She was surprised to see me and very happy - lots of laughing.  She doesn't really talk much.  We took here out of the hospital and she immediately got upset - I think she thought that was her new home!  Over the next week I spent a lot of time just sitting with her.  She wanted to hold hands or sometimes would lean against my shoulder.  I felt great joy in being able to bring her some measure of comfort and also felt great joy in that connection between the two of us.  I have long stopped thinking about what she was like and how others her age are more capable - she is a lesson for me of change - whatever and who ever  we are that we hold on to can and will change.  I accept her for where she is - make her laugh by asking why she didn't cook my favorite food - she was an excellent cook who couldn't boil water now - or just telling here about something that my son did that was silly or funny.  I sometimes think she is the perfect Zen master.  There is only the present, no real past, certainly no thoughts of the future - just waking, eating, napping, watching, napping, eating, sleeping......just there with no where to go and nothing to do.

JC - Letting in others positive feedbackfor artwork

LB - Letting go of litany of complaints

A couple of weeks ago, one morning my husband asked how I was.  I stared answering with a long litany of complaints about my restless night.  Suddenly I just started laughing.  This was very spontaneous – not the result of any thinking – but I guess I just got in touch with the futility and self-fulfilling nature of complaining about something which is over/finished/past!

GO - Enjoying bill paying through metta practice

Yesterday, as I was about to start paying my bills, and stepping into my realm of "finances and habitual fear", I remembered the lovingkindness chant, and invited in the intention of "taking care of myself happily," with my bills, my responsibilities, my appreciation for having the money in my checking account, etc.   What a difference this month's " bill paying" was for me... Even delightful music playing while sitting at my desk, writing checks, stuffing envelopes, finding stamps, address labels, etc. I was even tempted to put stickers on the envelops... perhaps next month...

DL - In midst of difficulties allowing positive feelings and happiness to co-exist with the sadness

I have been bombarded with an exceptional number of difficult experiences in the past 2 weeks – investors pulled out of my company and many people lost their jobs (including myself), best friend diagnosed with cancer, cousin went into a coma and is in the last phases of life. 

While I haven’t been joyful in the conventional sense, I have maintained awareness of my intention to cultivate joy…I’ve been very aware of compassion and loving kindness in each situation; and I’ve been conscious of allowing positive feelings and happiness to co-exist with the sadness that has naturally accompanied these situations.

SO - Her “joy bowl” can hold it all sadness grief, anger

I was so compacted with not-joy that I took myself into the studio one Saturday morning and got myself a large amount of clay. Clay is very nurturing, accepts anything you do to it, requires no final product – it’s a great ‘process’ medium. I let my feelings express themselves through my hands and the clay responded. As I worked I began making a large clay bowl, much larger than the bowl of self-compassion I had made years before so I thought ‘This bowl could hold that bowl’ and then thought ‘It could hold it all, compassion and grief and sorrow and anger and peace and selfishness and generosity, all of it. It’s my joy bowl’. It is a wonderful mental image that I carry now, sometime overflowing with grief, sometime with loneliness curled in a ball, sometime overflowing with abundance, sometime with sadness and delight sitting side by side. It is a very open bowl and it can hold it all. (the bowl itself actually didn’t survive, but that’s ‘immaterial’!!)

GG - Focusing on what makes me happy

I have been quite amazed by how powerful it is to pay attention to things that make me happy instead of taking them for granted. As you say, when the mind is inclined this way, my brain seems to "change gears" and look at everything more positively for a while. Some examples are playing with my cats, smelling home-grown roses, and baking sweets for my son in Alaska.

The other thing I am working on is the free-floating anxiety I occasionally wake up with. I have been using "RAIN" with some success, but lately I have been using thoughts of gratitude as well, and the combination has made a powerful antidote to the anxiety.

JC - Nephew’s suicide still able to let in happiness along with waves of grief

SB - Regardless of clouds in mind, joy still exists in me

When I was a child and my father was an amateur pilot, he would sometimes take me flying with him.  On one of these occasions the day was particularly gray and overcast.  Seated in his small Beach Bonanza, we sped down the runway, lifted, and climbed into the brooding sky.  Pretty soon we broke through the cloud layer into dazzling, brilliant sunlight.  I remember that miraculous moment as if it happened this morning.  The sun was still there in all its dazzling brilliance!  I thought that the entire world was shrouded in gray, but it was just a layer of cloud between me and the shining sun.

The Joy Course worked like that for me.  I learned that regardless of the cloud layer in my mind, joy still existed in me.  It’s like a baseline for existence.  It never goes away.  It’s just covered up at times by layers of gray.  Having faith that this was so changed my relationship to the gray moments in my life.  Just remembering that the sun is always shining somewhere uplifted me.

TW - Generosity with father

I discovered how a generosity practice could really shift my experience of everday events as well as shift the events themselves.  For example, I was on the phone with my father.  Although he has lots of people in his life, he lives alone and gets lonely a lot.  Sometimes when we talk he gives me a minute-by-minute account of his day, and when this happens it is almost all I can do not to hang up in frustration.  Well, this happened a couple of weeks ago, and I slipped into my judging and impatience.  Then I remembered my generosity practice, and I said to myself, "He is just lonely.  Give him my time graciously.  Just be here with him, for him."  I felt myself get so much bigger inside.  I had more space.  I was more relaxed, and I'm pretty sure he felt it.  He sounded happier and more relaxed.  Then I began doing this with lots of things. Where before I would grumble inside, "I don't have the time for this. I can't believe she asked me to do this now!"  I began saying, "Just give her this and do it with a spirit of generosity."  It really made a difference in me and in the interaction.

IB - Connecting with others on daily walk

I decided that I would say good morning to everyone I passed on my walk around Marina Bay.  I was amazed at the smiles and reactions I got just from saying a cheery good morning, just acknowledging that they were there.  And I’ve been doing that the whole month and it’s just been wonderful.”  Another person noticed, after our discussion on appreciation, the powerful difference when she said thank you and really meant it; how it was a much more genuine and impactful response. 

GG - Letting go of need to be right

Several weeks ago I got in a heated argument with a co-worker regarding an ongoing "problem". The argument quickly got personal. Although shaken by my co-worker's comments, I began to see things clearly and found myself letting go of the need to be right. I felt a spaciousness open inside me. I took some breaths. I was aware that I was angry, hurt, and moreover, "right", but that none of this really mattered. I stopped arguing and went away to cool off.

About an hour later I returned and said, "I'm sorry". Her face softened and she said how much she appreciated the apology. I felt this confusing mixture of wanting to be generous and wanting her to change. How to do this in the spirit of kindness and well-being instead of anger? Spontaneously I gave her a hug. I had to suppress a smile when she said I could come to her anytime if there was a problem (this was how our argument had started). The problem still wasn't solved, but letting go of my need to be right made a big difference.

MR - Gratitude

I am a school social worker at a public charter elementary school in south Sacramento. We have about 800 children, K-6. The population is composed of many ethnicities, many grand-parents and single-mom families, as well as struggling couples with large families. The children that come to me, for the most part, are experiencing grief and loss. There is much poverty, death, incarceration, divorce, domestic violence, and violence in general in their young lives.

This year I have been focusing on bringing my Buddhist practice and my social work practice into alignment. For example,  I have taught breathing, combining mindfulness with Braingym, when helping students with anger management; shared meditation and mindfulness techniques in staff meetings (without the Buddhist labels, of course!); and, have a conflict resolution practice using NVC techniques.

One of the ways we have brought some balance into our days is to have occasional gratitude rounds. I was first introduced to gratitude practice, some years ago in a twelve step program, as a way to allow
sanity eek into our crazy-making lives. When your Joy group reintroduced this idea I was delighted to again bring it to school. The children are amazing teachers and with little prodding they thought of, and were eager to share, their deep, heartfelt reasons why they are grateful.

I remembered one Thanksgiving when all of my siblings and our young children encircled our dinner table, and we went around the table and said what we were feeling grateful for. It was such a blessing!

I gave the students assignments to bring our new-found balance into their homes. I suggested that they interview each family member about what he or she is grateful for. Some of them did and others forgot, but that brought another discussion, looking at what we have instead of what we haven't. There is extra cheer as we say our rousing goodbyes on days when we find the balance gratitude. Thank you for reintroducing us to this beautiful practice.

PP - Finding Joy with Disability and Chronic Pain

I am so grateful for the Joy class.  I am the person on the floor mat in front. In the first class, you asked, "What do you hope to get from the course?" I wrote: "I hope to know myself better and to learn practical tools for bringing openness and appreciation to my life.  I hope to be better able to withstand people's judgment and to do and be what's important to me, not them. I want to alter my story to be more positive." 

The emphasis on my happiness being dependent on my own expectations and not on those of my family (and some friends) has helped a lot. Regarding stories, the course fits so wonderfully with the month-long retreat I did this year with you. I saw so clearly how our thoughts create the illusion of a separate self.

I have been seeing a pain specialist every 2 months for the last 3.5 years.  He told me that only since my last two visits has he been able to write in his notes that my mental attitude has greatly improved.

I really loved seeing how the class has evolved into a series of practices we will do for a lifetime. The ongoing practice is the joy.  I have been organizing your homework notes each month into a single sheet that I put into a plastic protector.  I have it in my journal binder as the page prior to my current writing--like a bookmark.  I review it every day when I take my notes of intention. So when the homework notes say to track our mudita and playfulness practices, I easily see it.

SR - Profound experience with loving-kindness practice

The one thing that first struck me was that you could choose happiness with emphasis on “choose”.  I kept thinking about it in the sense of, you really can choose, like it was a whole new concept, which it was.  There was a simplicity to the idea that amazed me, you did not have to analyze, figure something out, work with it etc. etc. you just choose to be happy.  I saw another example of how choices are made by what my friend was doing. She was angry with us when we returned from the bookstore.  She had been angry earlier and the day before and later that evening she was angry again.  It was so very sad to see her so angry, but so very obvious that it had somehow become her choice in life to be angry.  There is a lot more to the story of my friend and our visit, but through it all, I chose to be happy and on the trip, as much as I discovered I do not like trips by car, I continually thought of how I could chose happiness even if I was not doing my favorite thing. 

During the meditation, when you said, May I be happy, it was such a profound statement.  There was no analysis, no thinking about it, just a simple nurturing message I was giving to myself.  Somehow the simplicity of the message gave me permission to feel happiness.  And as each of the phrases came, I felt each one. As the words went on, and I followed them, I was feeling a strong sense of compassion for myself and then compassion for others.  .  I had a powerful sense of what was happening and probably was saying something like “Wow, this is surprisingly powerful” to myself .

We took a break immediately after the meditation, I stood up and walked to the back of the room, I was feeling very different, I remember feeling joy-a really warm, happy, calm, loving. compassionate feeling.  As I walked I realized I was seeing people differently, somehow I was looking directly at everyone, I saw their faces so clearly and really seeing something special in everyone’s face.  I can’t really describe it, although I do remember fairly clearly how I felt.  There was even a sort of brightness in the room.  The whole experience was very profound.  I felt extremely happy and very open and calm yet it was all very exciting and I was thrilled and happy that I was feeling this way. 

Since that time, whenever I hear or say the loving kindness meditation, or just say the words to myself-which I often do, I feel the nurturing, compassion, happy, good feelings in a sort of warm all over way and even with an exciting, thrilling quality to the experience.   I suspect, I need time to allow myself to feel as good and that much compassion all the time. Nevertheless, the experience that one night  has changed my life, probably rather dramatically.

CW - Transforming her relationship to work

What I'm finding is that asking myself what my intention is, for a given situation, is making everything much less fear-filled. Instead of asking, anxiously, "what will happen to me in this situation?", I'm asking "what would be the best thing/outcome to happen with this situation?" It has transformed my relationship to work. I am enjoying and learning more. There's more balance because I'm not overworking to try and please others (guess what? they didn't want or need me to overwork!). I sleep better.

Yesterday I spent some time with a friend who is in the pretty advanced stages of alcoholism. I think my experience with this class helped me be there for that person without expecting anything in return or wanting this person to be different than the way they are. I don't know if I made any difference at all but it felt somehow satisfying and worthwhile trying.

At some point during these classes, I started to see that happiness or whatever is like a bank account, and I have to start making deposits into this account to see any sort of return. For some reason it is easier to make deposits into the negative account that the positive account. I guess happiness is the harder thing to attain, and that is why it is more precious and valuable than negativity.

AB – Pain management, choosing well-being

The course has changed me in many ways. I was finishing my pain management program and I wanted some more support.  My sister recommended the course to me and what a help it has been.
I live in the Puget Sound Area and every time I cross the sound on the ferry, I look at the beautiful site of the beauty around me.  I never really noticed it before until I took the course. Thank the Lord for the gift he provided me.

I also when I wake up in the morning I tell my self I am going to have a fun day.  I have gone back to work with a good attitude and enjoy what I am doing.  I am a LPN and take care of the Developmentally Disable Adults in their own homes and what a life it is taking care of these beautiful people. I am a lot happier now.

PW - Getting through a difficult breakup and intending towards joy

Thank you for the privilege of being part of this Awakening Joy course from afar in Mexico. I went through challenging times with my former relationship during this year but I was able to keep perspective, most of the time, by holding to my Intention of being joyful as a natural state of existence, not surrendering to the conditioned state of chronic negativity which is part of my upbringing. Those roots run deep. But reading the emails you sent out from the Joy course, working with a fantastic therapist, and, of course, my joy buddy Patricia, helped me stay awake to the sources of joy around me and inside me. It is astonishing how much there is all around us which has the capacity to awaken and sustain joy, in spite of all the dreadful news and actions around us.

CE - Renunciation Practice

I've been doing this letting go practice for a few weeks now: refraining from buying anything for myself other than paying regular bills and basic food shopping.  It's been a really rich and interesting practice.  One gift of this practice has been ease: I don't have to spend so much time and energy chasing after things. e.g. "having" to run right out the door after dinner so that I have time to stop at Starbucks for a (habitual) coffee before a meeting.  Also, there is a sense of empowerment and security in discovering that I can quite contentedly live without certain things that I have believed were necessary for my happiness.  I am finding that many "needs" are purely habitual.

A second discovery that has been sweet is that, in moments when I'm wanting something that I "can't have" because of this practice, or when I feel a little hungry because I'm limiting food purchases, I find there is a deep connection to the multitude of beings who truly have to "do without" all the time because of their difficult financial/material circumstances.  I connect with them with metta, rather than being contracted in my own small sense of wanting/needing/feeling "deprived".

CM - Hospice Volunteer Just Being Present is Enough

I am very grateful for the course and feel it's had some profound effects. I'm a hospice volunteer. In that role, I go to the local hospital every week and visit with patients.  That Wednesday when I asked the nurse who could most benefit from a visit, she referred me to a woman, Joanna, who was sitting in the hall.   As I walked down the hall, the nurse mentioned that Joanna might speak to me in Dutch but not to worry.  Just being with her would be beneficial.

Eighteen months ago, before I'd started my meditation practice, I think I would have found this a frightening prospect.  No way to respond properly, make appropriate comments, introduce topics of conversation.  But now it somehow didn't seem so scary.  In fact, not being able to talk felt a bit like a release. There were no problems I had to solve, no need to be witty or interesting.  All I could do was be there. I approached Joanna.  She was a frail woman in her mid 80's.  She was talking to herself quietly and picking at the belt holding her into her chair.  I introduced myself to her and she looked up at me with beautiful blue eyes.  She began talking to me in Dutch.  I couldn't understand a word but it didn't matter.  I just looked at her, let go into those eyes and rested fully in whatever feeling or emotion she was communicating.

It was an astonishing experience.  At times I'd be sharing in a quiet happiness, at other times experiencing gentle irony, and at others awash in deep sadness.  Sometimes both our eyes were full of tears.  At other times, we smiled and laughed together. But throughout more than two hours, there was a sense of open hearted connectedness that was remarkable and intensely nourishing.  Occasionally, my mind would start to comment on what was happening "Wow, is this every fantastic.  Boy, this feels good!” But I'd quickly become aware of how these reflections distanced the connection, made the experience less full.  I found that if I closed my eyes and just focused on my breathing for a few seconds, I could come back to the moment and be fully there.  When I finally had to leave, Joanna and I looked at each other.  There was an immense sense of love and caring coming from both of us - these two people who hadn't known each other a few hours before.  She pulled me toward her and gently kissed the top of my head.

I left the hospital with a sense of spacious fullness, of powerful vulnerability - the kind of feeling I've had after a time of intense retreat.   When I received your homework assignment the next day, it had questions asking me to reflect on experiences of joy.  For some reason this experience I'd just had didn't immediately come to mind.  I guess I didn't think the depth of the experience was something that I would call joy.  Joy somehow seemed to have a lighter, more inconsequential feel to it.  But on further reflection, joy seemed to be the absolutely appropriate word to apply.  There was a stability, a strength to the entire experience that took it beyond the pleasant or the happy.  While on one level I experienced a whole myriad of emotions, behind that shifting panoply was this steady sense of connection, a feeling of rightness, of wholeness, of joy.

JY - Gratitude Practice

While doing the daily gratitude practice I began to notice various aspects of my work as a therapist for which I was grateful.  And the more I paid attention to these, the more there were! Many of the things I began to notice were things I had begun to take for granted, yet were the very reasons I had chosen this work in the first place. All of that has brought more joy into my work, even when it is difficult, as at times it can be.

SS - Letting Go of Righteousness leading to Compassion

I had a series of mishaps during the Letting Go practice, which shocked me into realizing how righteously indignant I become when others experience such mishaps.  I realized I looked down on others as incompetent and undisciplined whereas I considered myself Ms. Perfect.

I have found I am much more easily able to be compassionate and far less judgmental than I usually am with myself and others, especially my mother and husband. This has improved my relationships with them tremendously. My communications consulting work also has gone much more smoothly and successfully probably because of the deep acceptance of my clients that I now radiate.

KG - Letting Go of Blaming Wife

WP - Inclining the Mind Toward Joy

I've had one experience that was pretty illuminating.  As I was driving into the city and there was traffic.  I tend to get really frustrated and contracted when there’s traffic. My mind starts thinking about a lot of things in our society and I get on a roll.  And I stopped and said to myself, “Now wait a minute is there any joy here?  And I realized that I just switched the channels.  And I looked out and I saw the water. And I looked up and it was a clear day.  I opened my sunroof and I said to myself, “You know, it’s not so bad.”  And I realized.  I just noticed that there was a switch that I’m starting to nurture that I didn’t realize was there before.

ME - Experiencing joy is not luck, but a choice

I'm very grateful that you did the joy group. It changed my life. I’m remembering to notice when I do things that I enjoy.  And I give myself a kind of congratulations for remembering, and for having the opportunity to experience the joy.  I got that I have a lot more to do with experiencing joy than I thought.  It had always seemed like luck, or some sort of accident even, and that I was a victim of life’s circumstances.  I feel that I have more “control” of how often I experience joy.  I can choose to be happy, and choose to be unhappy, even miserable.  And joy seems to occur more often as a result, it seems more like a base condition, whereas misery was the base condition.

LD - Grieving and Celebrating Death of Beloved Grandmother

My grandmother died and I was very close to her. I went back east and I was really able to see her through the lens of this group.  She was actually a very happy person. Despite hardships she really did incline her mind towards joy. And also I was able to experience for the first time in my life grief and joy at the same time. I was celebrating her life and grieving too.  That was really remarkable.

CH - Saying thank you and really meaning it

After the assignment on appreciation I decided at work to say thank you and really mean it. It really made a big difference for me.  I don’t know about their response but I felt it was a much more genuine thank you.

NB - Letting Go of Should List to Listen Deeply for What I Need

I noticed I was making a should list of all the things I should do.  And I began to realize the antidote for me was coming back to the moment to a deep listening for what is true right now.  What would serve and nurture me and help bring me balance.  I’m realizing that is the wise choice in the moment.  Having that latte in one moment might be very nurturing for me and in another might just be feeding an addiction and not a wise choice.  So that whole concept of deep listening is really important in my practice right now.  It just short circuits all that ought and should programming.  I’m just really excited. 

JJ - Saying Yes to more things

As a result of this class I’m allowing myself to say yes to trying new things.  If they don’t work out I can know that and say that’s all right.  I’ve also been observing myself more and being more honest with myself in making decisions.  I’m more present in the moment and I’m grateful for that. 

SH - Interrupting negativity

Friday, and I'm biking home early--usually a good thing. But...I had just discovered a staffing crisis, the headache that started in the morning hadn't gone away and was getting worse suddenly bringing on nausea, and when I look out it's raining. I leave early hoping to get home before I feel too bad taking "lunch" at 4:30 (I'd eaten at the desk while posting job ads) cycling without rain gear--the morning's forecast hadn't included rain--and the first hill gets grit in my teeth as I cycle up it. Head hurts, getting wet, kinda cold, problems at work, head hurts, kinda nauseous, gritty teeth, and now stuck at a traffic light. A moment without peddling, I take a breath, remind myself to look around--bits of blue in the sky now, interesting cloud shapes, and--a rainbow, there's the other end, right over where my home is. I smile, take a few more deep breaths, look around. Head still hurts, problems aren't solved, but I feel much better. I'm smiling, enjoying the rainbow that wouldn't be there if it wasn't raining. Thinking of Joy class and the practices that lead to taking that first breath when a small pause presented itself.  Thanks James!